If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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