last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
