Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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