Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i believe in u and ur pee
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
