CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
