Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
