I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize