How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize