I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
