omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So many bounce houses so little time
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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