The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
