just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
