We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
