I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
