If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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