I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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