We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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