Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
