Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
