he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
