all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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