I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
