i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
