3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
