Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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