I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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