I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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