She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
