I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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