heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
