You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
