My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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