Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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