Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
