ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize