All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
