Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
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6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
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We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies