Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair

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(313): I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair http://tfl.nu/9zqr

Replies (1) Good night (2187) Bad night (1356)
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(303): View more from Colorado

do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???

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(303): do u usually make out with people before telling them your name??? http://tfl.nu/ocp0

Replies (27) Good night (4562) Bad night (1460)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.

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(856): i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again. http://tfl.nu/ts1b

Replies (17) Good night (717) Bad night (2446)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock

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(202): why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock http://tfl.nu/5322

Replies (23) Good night (1010) Bad night (3838)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.

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(248): Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers. http://tfl.nu/psr6

Replies (4) Good night (2374) Bad night (1185)
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(805): View more from California

I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard

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(805): I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard http://tfl.nu/np0a

Replies (5) Good night (1098) Bad night (2027)
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(925): View more from California

you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed

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(925): you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed http://tfl.nu/e4j9

Replies (11) Good night (1094) Bad night (1791)
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(937): View more from Ohio

in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.

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(937): in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable. http://tfl.nu/kvvg

Replies (14) Good night (1506) Bad night (708)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.

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(612): There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/g344

Replies (12) Good night (875) Bad night (1057)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one

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(847): Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one http://tfl.nu/3ht8

Replies (13) Good night (537) Bad night (1892)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year

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(575): He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year http://tfl.nu/6pry

Replies (11) Good night (1515) Bad night (693)
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(510): View more from California

I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one

(916): View more from California

Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol

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(510): I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one (916): Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol http://tfl.nu/xjbe

Replies (8) Good night (611) Bad night (1049)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari

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(205): I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari http://tfl.nu/g3b8

Replies (3) Good night (1080) Bad night (538)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.

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(423): They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other. http://tfl.nu/yegv

Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (271)
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(226): View more from Ontario

You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.

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(226): You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth. http://tfl.nu/9utc

Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (191)

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