Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte! http://tfl.nu/25lr
  Replies (1) Good night (3549) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts. http://tfl.nu/p33l
  Replies (17) Good night (543) Bad night (1969)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you http://tfl.nu/a4zz
  Replies (11) Good night (806) Bad night (3339)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink. http://tfl.nu/0fnk
  Replies (114) Good night (3802) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/9omq
  Replies (12) Good night (6737) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to http://tfl.nu/sk6c
  Replies (25) Good night (5484) Bad night (1477)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing. http://tfl.nu/c56c
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity http://tfl.nu/6n2x
  Replies (2) Good night (944) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head... http://tfl.nu/us9j
  Replies (3) Good night (1146) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us. http://tfl.nu/d109
  Replies (3) Good night (1237) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (418): View more from Quebec

  You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (418): You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar. http://tfl.nu/ds06
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing http://tfl.nu/0z5g
  Replies (9) Good night (791) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me http://tfl.nu/rhlr
  Replies (8) Good night (764) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me http://tfl.nu/qbi9
  Replies (4) Good night (578) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo. http://tfl.nu/740l
  Replies (6) Good night (633) Bad night (267)

Randomize