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• (561): View more from Florida

  Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

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• (310): View more from California

  Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.

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• (331): View more from Illinois

  You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Come find me please? Im in a ditch.

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  That doesn't help me much...

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm right under the moon!

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It's inspiring.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we need ur ladder

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.

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• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.

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