1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me