Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My liver just broke up with me...

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  (303): My liver just broke up with me... http://tfl.nu/2vsq
  Replies (2) Good night (1032) Bad night (816)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.

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  (201): kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success. http://tfl.nu/o0d4
  Replies (44) Good night (6680) Bad night (1761)
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  (661): View more from California

  It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.

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  (661): It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing. http://tfl.nu/ex7a
  Replies (116) Good night (11598) Bad night (1811)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.

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  (512): I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw. (1-512): Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid. http://tfl.nu/p25a
  Replies (16) Good night (4177) Bad night (1301)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.

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  (703): I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them. http://tfl.nu/kulz
  Replies (24) Good night (916) Bad night (3677)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug

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  (815): shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug http://tfl.nu/1b7i
  Replies (3) Good night (783) Bad night (2949)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning

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  (516): She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning http://tfl.nu/jaay
  Replies (12) Good night (1728) Bad night (6723)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you

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  (214): My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you http://tfl.nu/i385
  Replies (12) Good night (3935) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."

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  (651): She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name." http://tfl.nu/v79x
  Replies (16) Good night (4242) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.

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  (313): Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs. http://tfl.nu/t847
  Replies (8) Good night (2340) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.

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  (918): Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met. http://tfl.nu/7r98
  Replies (3) Good night (2424) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.

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  (240): she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes. http://tfl.nu/9p5u
  Replies (10) Good night (1321) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club

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  (206): The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club http://tfl.nu/n7qr
  Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.

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  (832): He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby. http://tfl.nu/1j27
  Replies (8) Good night (752) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex

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  (508): This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex http://tfl.nu/5anx
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (255)

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