does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
