You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
