Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i barfeds in our rink
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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