me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
