I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
