Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
