Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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