So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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