have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
