I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
