All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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