Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
