I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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