You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
