Yo dont text me then not text me
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
