dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
