I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
They should really pass out barf bags in church
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
