Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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