there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize