I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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