you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
