I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
