This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
