it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
