this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
