He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
