are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize