You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
