Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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